How can we learn to be satisfied with what we've been blessed with?

I have been so blessed in my life and I KNOW this! I know that God has blessed me with a wonderful loving husband and the most generously loving son. I know that He has blessed with a job that is very good to me and with our home and our vehicles and everything else I have right now. So what is it, in me, that can't get passed feeling like something is missing. What is it, in me, that can't be satisfied with what He's already blessed me with and why is it that I continue to pray for another child. I know that if its in His plan He will bless me with another child. I know this, so why can't I just be satisified knowing this and trust His Will is best. Instead, I still feel sad that it still hasn't happened and disappointed and jealous of others that have recently gotten pregnant. I cry out to God saying, "I don't understand, I've prayed so much for this and I want this with all my heart, have I've done something so wrong that this won't happen for me." I know, I know, there are so many women out there who haven't been able to have even one child. Again, I know this and my heart goes out to them and I think I am so blessed to have my son. But I can't seem to get rid of these feelings. Does this make me a horrible person? Is this why I haven't been gifted with another child? Is God trying to get me to a point in my life before He will give me one?

On mother's day this year I took a prenancy test because I was a week late and it came out positive. I was so HAPPY, I was elated. I told my husband, my parents and his parents right away because I just couldn't contain myself. I thought, wow what a wonderful mother's day gift from You Lord. Then a week later I had a miscarrage. I went to the doctor still holding out hope that I was still pregnant just for them to confirm that my levels were going down. I was devestated to say the least. To feel like your fervent prayers were answered and you were given this precious gift just to have it taken away again is unexplainable. I can only imagine the pain and torment one goes thru that looses a child at any age. And I just can't understand it. Why does this happen?

But through all of this, there is this HOPE inside of me that it all works out in the end. Child or no child, it all works out. Where does this HOPE come from when I have all of these other feelings about this going on inside of me? I don't know.

Hopefully, someone who may be or has gone thru something similar will find this comforting in a way that you are not alone.